Werewolf Repellent

Werewolf Repellent

A werewolf is a human being, man woman, or child (more often the first), who either voluntarily or involuntarily changes or is or is changed into the shape of a wolf. This individual is then possessed of all the brute strength, and swiftness of that animal... The curse of the Werewolf is hereditary or acquired; a horrible compulsion driving these wretched souls to seek the the means to satisfy the unspeakable pleasure of the thirst to quaff warm human blood...Disguised in the shape of the most dreaded and fiercest denizen of the forest, the werewolf comes forth under the cover of darkness, prowling in lonely places to seek his prey..

We have conducted extensive tests on this repellent during all phases of the moon from full moon to new moon and back again. It has been tested in lonely forests and deserted parts of many cities. The results have always been the same. "ABSOLUTELY NO WEREWOLF CONTACT"!

This is excellent news for two reasons. Not only will this protect you from unwanted werewolf attacks but it will save you the social embarrasment associated with inadvertantly being transformed into a werewolf yourself! Let's face it, being transformed into a wild beast with a taste for human blood a couple of nights a month is bound to create serious complications in anyone's life. Imagine having to organize your life around moon phases. And not only your life but your family's lives as well. If you choose to protect friends and neighbors you will want to be restrained during certain moon phases. Obviously this responsibility will fall to your family members with the added difficulty of them having to explain where you are on those nights and what those strange growling and howling noises coming out of the basement are.

In other words, think of this repellent as not merely insurance against werewolf attacks but as a way to protect your family from the possibility of becoming social outcasts!

During field trials of this product there were no reports of contact with shape shifters other than werewolves. While these results are encouraging we will require more tests before declaring this repellent effective against other shape shifters. If you purchase this repellent you can choose to receive updates on these field trials and apply the formula accordingly.

Regular Price $16.99!!!

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