Vampire Repellent

Vampire Repellent

Vampires suck! No, really, let's face it, vampires suck. At their best they will suck out every last drop of your blood reducing you to a whithered, bloodless hulk. At their worst, they will turn you into one of their own. A soulless undead creature, doomed to roam the earth forever - and suck! Talk about a lose-lose proposition.

There have been stories about vampires forever. And along with these stories there is an extensive literary collection dealing with issues such as vampire defense, vampire detection and vampire elimination. We all know the power of garlic and crosses, the way you destroy a vampire is with a stake through the heart and that you can't see the reflection of a vampire in a mirror. With so much information readily available why would anyone need to purchase a special vampire repellent? Simple. Do garlic, crosses, stakes and mirrors come with a 3 times your money back guarantee? Not that we know of. Besides, garlic deteriorates, crosses and stakes are awkward to carry and mirrors break.

Our Vampire Repellent is a vast improvement on all the traditional methods. Simply follow the formula, mix up a healthy batch, apply it according to the instructions and forget about it. It will do it's work without you even being aware of it. How's that for convenience? As with our full line of repellents, this one has proven itself through a long series of meticulous field tests. While we do admit to some members of the test group suffering from mosquito bites we did not lose a single member of this group to any vampire related activity. In other words, this product has our full endorsement and comes with our complete 3 times your money back guarantee. Why be the first person on your block to suffer the indignity of being drained of your life force, or worse, being turned into one of the living dead when all it takes to prevent this is a simple formula you can re-create using convenient materials you can find around the house. Don't forget, vampires suck and now you have the means at your disposal to fight back.

With apologies to Bela Lugosi.

Regular Price $16.99!!!

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Only $7.49!!!

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